Episode 66 - Bug butt

Intro
Jason: Hello, and welcome Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe. My name is Jason, and I'll be playing everyone's favorite heretic elf, Theran. Tonight, you will witness much chicanery, tomfoolery, ballyhoo, and if you're lucky, maybe even some skullduggery, or monkeyshines. But now, I want to introduce the Prime Minister of Sinister, the Foreman of Fornicating Skyward, the Numero Uno of rolling numero uno, Matthew. Matthew, what's your favorite finger food? Matt: Mmm. There's a lot of them. Jason: I know. Matt: Um, probably buffalo wings, because you can just have all sorts of sauces that go with them. Jason: Ben! Playing Rell. What's your favorite food you can eat with a fork? Ben: Just a fork? Jason: Well it can be a fork and knife, you know usually you think of it as a fork as opposed to a finger food or a spoon. Ben: Uhh, chicken parm. Jason: Chicken parmesan. Rebecca, who's playing the kind and generous Martle. What's your favorite food you can buy at a fair? Rebecca: Deep fried oreos and/or funnel cakes. Matt: Ahhhhhh. Jason: I can hear your arteries hardening from here. Boston, playing our favorite shrub Juniper. What's your favorite food you eat at the cafeteria, in college? Juniper: *sad laugh* Matt: Oh that's mean. That is so mean. Boston: Do you wanna know - wait, wait, can I tell a story real quick? You wanna know what happened last night? Someone found a stick in their fries. Natalia: A stick? Boston: A stick! Jason: Are you making fries then, as your favorite food? Boston: It was fries, but then someone found a stick in it. Jason: I'm saying are you saying that your favorite food is fries? Boston: That's all that's edible! So yes, that's my answer! Jason: Natalia! Playing Z. What is the favorite food you have from the motherland? Natalia: Um, potatoes. Jason: Hey. I'm with you sister. Boston: Potatoes. Jason: But she's not from Ireland. Natalia: I'm not. Jason: Mitch! Playing Zarial. What's the favorite food you can get delivered to your house? Mitch: Well, depends. Here or California? Jason: I don't care. Opening it up. Natalia: Let's say here, that narrows it down. Mitch: Here...um, I don't know. See, in California, there - so here we have tropical smoothie, I love tropical smoothie, I think it's great, but in California we have so much more options. I could go - I don't know. Um, Asian food. Jason: Alright. A whole genre, he picked. There you go. Back to you, Matt!

Episode Description
The Crew are able to make it to the cave but there doesn't appear to be a way out. They need to find a way out and whatever is making the signal. Wait...what's that sound?

Summary
The episode begins with Z and Juniper unconscious under rubble. Martle pulls out Juniper. Theran and Rell struggle with Z, tearing her voidsuit in the process. Zarial acts as lookout, and notices bits of spaceships embedded in the walls of the cave. He also hears little things scuttling on the walls, but can't see anything. Theran notices Z's suit isn't letting out any air, and then that everyone's suits say they have unlimited air. It seems inside the cave, they are in normal habitable atmosphere. Martle heals Juniper and Z to wake them up. Z panics about her suit until Theran tells her it's okay.

They start down the hallway and see shards of glass sticking out of the wall, shimmering in different colors. Unlike Junari ruins they've seen, the hallways seem natural, and they hear the occasional plunk of molten glass leaking through. Lelia says she can tell they're near the signal, but can't pinpoint a direction, so they explore the old fashioned way.

Theran scouts a hallway and sees four creatures that resemble ants the size of small cats, with parts of their bodies made of glass. The ends of their abdomens are glowing red, like they have molten glass. They're crawling on the walls eating glass. Juniper creates an illusion on the wall to fool the ants, but they still sense Martle with their antennae when she tries to sneak past. She smashes one and Theran another. The one Martle smashed explodes, showering her in molten glass. The ants chitter, summoning more ants. Juniper Shatters the three visible ants and they prepare for the next wave. Rell discovers that the ants' glass bodies reflect laser fire. They defeat the ants, then look around the cave system more.

A piece of rock moves to reveal a stairway, and they hear footsteps. A junari emerges, holding an electric lantern and wearing ancient robes. She is older, with wrinkles around her eyes. She speaks in High Primordial, and Juniper translates. She views the non-tieflings with apprehension, and asks if they're from outside, and if they serve the Firsts. Juniper doesn't recognize the term, so the junari asks about Amethyst. Everyone agrees that Amethyst is the worst. Juniper names Jörmungandr, and the junari drops the lantern and kneels down in reverence to him. Juniper tells her he's a ship now, and she faints. As Juniper translates the conversation for the others, someone calls up for Sapphire. Juniper calls down, and they ask for her to identify herself. The episode ends with someone in the stairway charging up a rifle.

New Information

 * There are no guns with bullets in CE, at least not designed by Matt.
 * The glass ants are not found outside Agora.

Memorable Quotes
Rebecca: As a bisexual person, I can 100% say that rainbow crystals exploding is part of the gay agenda.

Matt: You almost suspect it's like, molten glass of some sort. But it's in a creature. Jason: Yeah, that's gonna come shooting at us.

Jason: Do you speak glass ass ant?

Jason: Oh for fuck's fucking fuck.

Martle: Please tell her that I think he's a bitch and a half.

Trivia

 * Rebecca got two nat 20s (if they had had advantage/disadvantage) for Martle to get Juniper out of the rubble.
 * Theran did 74 damage to his ant, which had 13 hit points.
 * Theran hit an ant with a photonic arrow, which does radiation damage. At first Matt said it was resisted by the ants like other laser fire, but then Clippy (Ben) pointed out that according to Matt radiation damage can't be ignored or resisted.
 * This was the first episode released since the podcast started a patreon. Pete was the first patron, and Jason announced they would buy Matt dice that only have ones on them.