Episode 55 - Frosty News

Intro
Jason: Hello and welcome Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe. My name is Jason, and I'll be playing everyone's favorite heretic elf, Theran. Tonight, you will witness much chicanery, tomfoolery, and if you're lucky even some monkeyshines. But now, I want to introduce the Prime Minister of Sinister, the Foreman of Fornicating Skyward, the Numero Uno of rolling numero uno, and - well, there is no more chart, even. He broke the chart of the most hated GM in podcast history, our friendly neighborhood GM, Matthew. How are you tonight, Matthew? Matt: Pretty good, I'm kind of curious though, is it broken because I went too far up, or went too far down? Natalia: You're not even on the list anymore Matt. Jason: Sure. Rebecca: You were trending down. Jason: Ben, playing Rell. How's things, old chap? Ben: Uh, hi! Jason: Rebecca, who's playing the kind and generous Martle. Bore us with bunny facts Rebecca! Rebecca: Rabbits will show displeasure with something by shaking their tail, so the number of times that I have had one of my rabbits shake their tail at me as they hopped away after I stopped them from chewing on something is innumerable. Natalia: I did not know that, and it is freaking adorable. Matt: Isn't that kind of like their way of flipping the bird at you or something like that? Rebecca: Yeah, kind of, yeah. Natalia: Nice! I love it, I love it! Jason: Natalia playing Z. What's up, Natalia? Natalia: Knock knock. Rebecca: Who's there? Natalia: Me, duh. Rebecca: Oh. *laughs* Jason: Boston, playing our favorite shrub Juniper. What say you? Boston: A bush now? Natalia: What? Jason: That's what a juniper is. Ben: Ahhh. Jason: Lastly, Mitch playing Z-rial. How the hell are you Mitch? Mitch: Hellooooo. Jason: Yes I'm talking to you Mitch. Mitch: Uh- Jason: No, you, with the headphones. Do you do push to talk? Listen to Natalia, I'm talking to you. Go ahead, Mitch. Mitch (loudly): Uh, kay? Jason: Kay I asked you three damn times, go ahead Mitch. Mitch (loudly): Hello? Matt: I think he's had too many gummies, if you know what I mean. Natalia: Hoooooo. Jason: Back to you, Matthew. Matt: Um, Nat, one second please... Natalia: Oh no, psychic damage? Shit. Matt: Yes. Natalia: Dammit. Matt: Take that much, for that terrible knock-knock joke. Natalia: I have just realized that I do not have Roll20 up, so - Matt: Oh my god. Natalia: - invalid, invalid. Matt: My rolls are always valid, thank you. Natalia: Hoo hoo, okay. Rebecca: Typically they're 1s, so I don't know what you're talking about. Natalia: Yeah I was gonna say, okay Matt 1. Matt: Mmm. Anyway, how's everybody doing today? Natalia: Excellent. Have had a fantastic day. How about yourself? Matt: Doing good, ready to - I have been planning a TPK, let's see if that goes. Natalia: Ohh, nooo. No no no no no. We have an OK, which is Overlord Kill.

Episode Description
The Crew find the catalyst and return to normal space and find out some unwanted news.

Summary
After the crew defeats the robieflings, the computer lights up. Juniper is unable to fully access the program, but she can tell it has something to do with the Catalyst. Z ineffectively jabs at the keys over her head, and then Zarial shoves her aside and hacks the program. It's meant to send a signal, and needs to be downloaded and transported to a relay station. After Juniper gets lost in the directory, Zarial again takes over and brings up a map, with various types of stations represented by color coded dots. Green indicates relay stations, yellow indicates science stations. One dot is red: the Parliament asteroid. Z sees that Agora is green. Red represents a signal station. Juniper downloads the program, which comes out as a square disk. She tries putting it in her computer, but it overloads. She takes the disk and goes back to the live progenitor, though Martle assumes she's going back to the ship. Z continues to keyboard smash. Martle messages Jörmungandr, telling him that Juniper is heading to the ship, and to keep her there when she arrives. When she doesn't show up, the crew goes to the pod room to find Juniper struggling to find a place in the computer for the Catalyst drive. She figures out that they need to go to the Parliament asteroid. Martle wants to verify the signal before they use it. Juniper is convinced the Catalyst will prevent the progenitors turning into zombies, but Martle wants more evidence. She proposes waking up the live progenitor beside them, but Juniper says it's a bad idea.

Martle calls Jörmungandr and Z asks him about the disk. He becomes angry, saying he doesn't know anything about the technology of his jailers. They presumed to have the knowledge of the universe, and with it to take the place of the gods. Jörmungandr accepted Martle as captain because she was a progenitor, but a changed one.

The crew agrees to go back to Lelia and figure out what to do next. Martle sends everyone back to the ship and heads to the map room alone, telling Jörmungandr to keep them there when they arrive. Z wants to stay outside, but Theran convinces her to go in. Z tells Jörmungandr to keep an eye on Martle. Theran asks Jörmungandr about his moon being yellow on the map, and Jörmungandr says the Progenitors were a warfaring race, and that it could be a number of things: barracks, weapons cache, or reclamation and reeducation base.

Martle tells Jörmungandr to take off immediately if her vitals get low, and not to let anyone come after her. He gives a delayed affirmative after she asserts her position as captain. Martle attempts to wake the sleeping progenitor, but can't work the computer. She starts to smash the pod open. It takes some time, but when Z asks Jörmungandr, he says Martle is engaged in business of her own. Martle gets the progenitor out, but can't wake him with Lay on Hands or slapping. He has tattoos reminiscent of Mentaru tattoos, but they're sharper and more ornate. His face seems artificially attractive. Martle casts Lesser Restoration, and he wakes. His eyes are electric blue, and he asks who she is. She introduces herself as Chalcedony, her Tiefling name. He asks where the wardens are, the keepers of knowledge. Martle says they're long gone, and asks about the Catalyst. He says it's a signal program that will help the empire take back the galaxy from the lesser races, such as the Mentaru. Martle takes issue with the term "lesser races", and brings up Theran. The progenitor is unfamiliar with elves. They argue about who has a right to the galaxy, and the progenitor says he is part of the Junari empire. It is unfamiliar to Martle. He says that the Mentaru were their slaves before the uprising, and everyone else is invaders and should be either killed or enslaved. She asks about crystal monsters, and he becomes afraid. He calls them an abomination, and the main enemy of the Junari. He asks Martle what she calls herself, and she says Tiefling. He claims to be a tiefling as well, and Martle denies the claim, saying they are different races. He asks if he is to be her prisoner, and she says she wants to take him back to the ship for information, but that Juniper ran into others like him who turned into zombies. He says there is no one like him, and calls the people Juniper found failed ones. He and the other twelve were made perfect, to be the new leaders of their race. Martle indicates the dead junari around them, and he becomes sad. He asks for death, but Martle says he can wait until she's done with him. He willingly submits to being her captive, and Martle tells him her name and gives him pants. He introduces himself as Amethyst.

Jörmungandr does not open the door for Martle at first, calling Amethyst a jailer. Martle tells him how the situation has been reversed, and Jörmungandr says he'll shoot him if he leaves the brig. Amethyst willingly goes to the brig, and then Martle meets up with most of the crew on the bridge. Z reprimands Martle for not letting them come along, but at least somewhat accepts Martle's rationale that she was keeping them safe. Martle tells them about the Junari and their goals.

They prepare to leave, and Rell gets one more chance to pilot the ship. He doesn't do very well, and Z takes over more successfully. Jörmungandr says the "extremely tiny one" can stay as the pilot. Martle tells Juniper, who was not on the bridge when Martle returned, to go to the brig and talk to Amethyst. Jörmungandr says there's a galaxy-wide signal coming from a satellite by the Parliament asteroid. It's a CENN announcement that zombies have attacked Parliament. It shows footage of a cafe being defended as a makeshift base, where a gnome wearing a military vest talks about the situation. The zombies break through and the feed cuts out, but before it does, they catch a glimpse of Lilith at the cafe, looking straight at the camera.

New Information

 * Theran sees that his moon is yellow on the map.
 * Martle and Theran are from the moon Set, orbiting the planet Horuss, which is inhabited by Enlightened Elves. There is an uneasy peace between the enlightened and Heretic Elves.
 * Tieflings are supposed to have arrived during the third age of exploration.

Memorable Quotes
Boston: Juniper snorts and she's like "Whatever, you just got lucky." Mitch: I say "Uh huh" and walk away.

Amethyst: My race is also your race. I can see it in you. Martle: I don't claim you. Amethyst: Maybe so, but we claim you.

Martle: Well, stupid is kind of a sliding scale. Everyone's a little bit stupid.

Theran: You're the master in this relationship already? You just met. Rebecca: You're standing outside, you don't hear us, you damn fool. Jason: Oh, sorry, sorry. Rebecca: How dare. Natalia: How dare! Rebecca: How dare.

Trivia

 * Neither Natalia nor Boston had their Roll20 up when the episode started.
 * Ben thought Z had the highest intelligence of the group with a +1, but Zarial has a +2 and Juniper is +3. Note, there was a period where neither Juniper nor Zarial were on the crew.
 * Amethyst was introduced this episode (though he was seen unconscious in the two previous episodes).
 * The gnome in the CENN announcement was played by Rae.