Episode 61 - Dr.Tv

Intro
Jason: Hello and welcome Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe. My name is Jason, and I'll be playing everyone's favorite heretic elf, Theran. Tonight, you will witness much chicanery, tomfoolery, Buckley's chance, and if you're lucky, maybe even some dog's breakfast. But now, I want to introduce the Prime Minister of Sinister, the Foreman of Fornicating Skyward, the Numero Uno of rolling numero uno, Matthew. What does it feel like to be run over by a small child? Matt: *sigh* It feels terrible. Jason: Ben! Playing Rell. Have you ever just gone walkabout? Ben: No. Jason: Rebecca, who's playing the kind and generous Martle. Has someone ever called you a skimbo? Rebecca: I have no idea. Mitch (whispering): What's a skimbo? Natalia: Just now, apparently. Rebecca: Yeah. Jason: Boston, playing our favorite shrub Juniper. Do you know what the phrase, "Having a root" means? Boston: No. Jason: That doesn't surprise me. Natalia, playing Z. Which leader founded St. Petersburg? Natalia: Nikolai Romanov? Jason: It's in the name. Petersburg. Natalia: Oh, yeah, right, St. Peter. Yeah, right. Jason: Mitch! Playing Z-rial. Which of the following is not used for dabbing? Shatter, shake, or butter? Mitch: Butter. Jason: Good man. Only one person got these answers right tonight, and that would be Mitch. Take it away, Matt! Natalia: That's slightly sad. Matt: I mean, - Jason: By the way, every one of these questions was brought to you by our favorite Australian listener out there - Natalia: Nice! Matt: Yeah, she just sent me a message, she's like "I want to apologize for Jason, but I also do not." Natalia: Aww. I love it. I love it! Rebecca: She has done the lord's work. Natalia: I gotta start doing my freaking research. Jason: Peter the Great founded St. Petersburg, having a root, Boston, means having sex, skimbo is what you call a very skinny, skinny person, and I'm sure - I'm sure you guys know what walkabout means. So that was from our favorite dropbear, and take it away Matthew.

Episode Description
Martle and Rell conclude their fight with Amethyst and regroup with the rest of the crew and now need to decide their next objective.

Summary
Seeing Jörmungandr is in the Witness, Amethyst knocks Martle out and flees. Rell stabilizes Martle, but neither he nor Jörmungandr can heal her. Jörmungandr asks Rell to pilot him, so Rell steps into the Talon, which operates like a mech. He picks up Martle and heads back to the ship. The Talon's footsteps are loud, so they're attacked by zombies on the way. Rell flies at a titan using a jetpack that emerges from Jörmungandr's back and hits the zombie with the Talon's massive greatsword, which lights up green as it activates. Rell notices a timer has gone from 60 to 50. Jörmungandr tells him it indicates the amount of energy the Talon has left, measured in units of minutes of normal use or seconds of combat. Rell hears a bigger zombie horde coming and runs, warning the ship on the way. One of the pirates, a dragonborn, meets him at the door and takes Martle to the infirmary. Jörmungandr asks Rell to take him to the AI suite to recharge. The dragonborn sees Theran in the hall and asks him to help Martle, being a doctor. Looking at her through the monocle, Theran sees it's not her time. Blocking the pirate's view, he injects her with a Spotion of Sphealing and she wakes up. The surrounding pirates are very impressed with Theran, and Martle tells him to go away. She tells the pirates about the Talon, impressing them again, and asks Theran if he's sent a message to Lelia. He hasn't, and Martle sends him to take care of it.

Meanwhile, Juniper and Zarial have been trying to remove the virus from the ship's systems. Zarial eliminates it, but fails to figure out how it worked, and therefore how to fix Jörmungandr. Juniper restores it, and they continue working. Theran successfully sends the message to Demia. She says weird signals have been coming from the black hole, and she wants them back as soon as possible. Z has been playing in the captain's chair.

Rell and Jörmungandr talk about the strangeness of the Talon's size, which is tiny for Jörmungandr but huge for Rell. They reach the AI suite and Jörmungandr returns himself to the ship. As he does, Rell is gently ejected from the Talon. The holographic display shows Jörmungandr 20 times smaller, to his chagrin. Zarial goes to contact someone from his home planet who could help fully restore him, the man who designed his rifle. Jörmungandr transfers himself to the infirmary to talk to Martle. She doesn't want anyone but Theran to see her for now, given that she's still recovering, and she says it's fine for Z to be in her chair for now. Jörmungandr updates Z on the situation and tells her to pilot to the Terminal.

New Information

 * Amethyst can turn invisible.
 * The morgue is right next to the infirmary, so if a patient dies it's a short trip.

Memorable Quotes
Matt: You see another large horde of zombies coming at you, specifically a Titan, the ones that like to throw other zombies around. Jason: Yeet. Ben: Oh, uhh... Jason: Hit him with Martle! Ben: Uh, no? Jason: Do extra Martle damage.

Matt: Go ahead and roll your greatsword. Ben: Alright. Jason: It's actually just a pretty good sword. Matt: You say that now.

Ben: Could I smite with a Martle?

Jason: Rebecca what does a roaring moan sound like, you think? Rebecca: *roaring moan* Jason: There you go.

Theran: You have a potty mouth when you've nearly been killed.

Trivia

 * They started using a new recording bot, Alistair, because Craig stopped cooperating. Then Alistair followed suit, but Giarc was still recording as backup.
 * Matt dealt Jason several d100s of damage for a bad joke, and Ben noted he rolled more 1s than 100s.
 * Martle started the episode with 6 hp.
 * When Rell stepped into the Talon, Ben started using its character sheet instead of his. Its abilities use Rell's proficiency bonus, but the Talon's stats.
 * The first hit with the Talon's sword did 22 laser damage and 23 slashing damage.
 * The Talon gets a number of attacks equal to the pilot's proficiency bonus (in this case 4).
 * Martle smited Amethyst in their brief combat at the beginning of the episode, but Rebecca forgot to add the extra damage from the oath Martle made to Ryu. They brought it up and retroactively added four (two given resistance) damage a full 26 minutes later.