Episode 67 - Pocket God

Intro
Jason: Hello, and welcome Celestial Expanse, a real play D&D podcast set in the Celestial Expanse universe. My name is Jason, and I'll be playing everyone's favorite heretic elf, Theran. Tonight, you'll witness much chicanery, tomfoolery, ballyhoo, and if you're lucky, maybe even some monkeyshines or skullduggery, but now, I want to introduce the Prime Minister of Sinister, the Foreman of Fornicating Skyward, the Numero Uno of rolling numero uno, Matthew. What would you cosplay at a ren faire, Matthew? Matt: I probably would actually cosplay as Cyrus. Jason: The character from...? Matt: Tabletop Champions. Jason: ANd if you're interested in the sister podcast of Tabletop Champions, please check out... what is the official website? It was turtle.net before, but it what is it now? Ben and Rebecca: Turtle.fyi Jason: Turtle.fyi, okay, so check out turtle.fyi. Matt: Let me check if that still works actually. It does. Rebecca: Yeah last I knew it does. Jason: Alright. Turtle.fyi to check out the many many seasons of how we came to know Ben and Matt as their characters over there, and an excellent podcast. Start at season 2 however, season 1 is garbage. Rebecca: The audio is... Jason: It's the audio. Matt: It's rough. Rebecca: It's incredible. Jason: Ben! Playing Rell. What's your favorite drink at a ren faire, Ben? Ben: Uhhhhh, do they have, like, special drinks there? Cause... Jason: I don't know. What would you drink if you were at a ren faire? Ben: Water so I don't get dehydrated and die. Jason: Oh, wow. Natalia: Awwww. Jason: Super boring. Rebecca! Who's playing the kind and generous Martle. What's your favorite ride at a fair? Rebecca: Um, I like the ones that go fast, lots of twists. I might be a little bit of an adrenaline junkie. Jason: The barf machines, is what you're saying. Rebecca: Yeah. Yeah. Ben: So, wait, so like a roller coaster, or like the teacups ride? But like - Rebecca: Yes. Ben: Okay. Natalia: Gross to both. Jason: Surprise to me that she'd like a teacup ride. Rebecca: They. They'd like a teacup ride. Jason: They'd like a teacup ride. Boston, playing our favorite shrub, Juniper. What's your favorite game to play at a fair? Boston: -s do they have at fairs? Jason: Like, the throw the darts at balloons, and the - Boston: Ohhhhhh, oh, like - Jason: All those different type of games. Boston: Like county fairs. Jason: Yes. Boston: Um, I want to say the fish one but that's animal cruelty. Jason: Okay. Boston: But I think the ducks. The one where you go and pick up the duck, and you find like, random numbers. Jason: Oh, yeah, yeah yeah, in the little pond. That they go around in circles. Gotcha. Natalia, playing Z. What's your favorite fair food? Natalia: Oh that's not fair, you asked Rebecca that last time. We need a new question! Rebecca: That was fried food. Jason: It was fried food, yeah. So what's your favorite fair food? With alliteration. Natalia: I believe it was what's your favorite foods you eat at a fair and she said anything fried, such as - Rebecca: They said. Natalia: They said. Sorry. Jason: We're struggling. It's a - Natalia: I don't know, I would have to say funnel cakes too probably. Jason: Oooooh, funnel cakes. Mitch playing Z-rial. What's your favorite food at a ren faire, you've been to a few? Mitch: Oh. I love those giant turkey legs. Jason: That's what I'm talking about. Mitch: Can't help it, every - you walk by 'em and they just look so good, and you're just like yes.

Episode Description
The Crew discover some of the secrets of Agora and possibly have found a way in fighting back their enemies. Just hope everyone keeps a clear head.

Summary
The episode opens with the sound of a laser rifle charging up. Someone calls for Sapphire, in Common. Martle tells them Sapphire fainted after they told her Jörmungandr was the AI of their ship, and they don't serve the Firsts. The rifle powers down and a human emerges. He cracks a crystal under Sapphire's nose and she wakes up. They discuss the fate of Jörmungandr and the other gods, but the crew doesn't really know anything. Sapphire turns to the human and says that means they failed; the Firsts had a god complex, but the Resistance thought they should make the galaxy better for everyone. Theran tells them about the various technologies the Catalyst activated, and says when they woke up one of the junari, who started them up. He says the crew is here to shut them off, and asks if there's any Junari technology here. Sapphire and the human, Zach, say they have a Fabricator supporting a colony of two million people. They lead the way to the colony, talking to each other in Primordial. They come to a garage sized door and Zach unlocks it with a keypad to reveal a thriving city. There are vehicles floating around, some carrying food, gardens, glass sculptures, and people of all races. Z points out a statue of "Jörmie", and upon learning his use of nicknames, Sapphire says she'll need a drink. Z is very excited. Sapphire says the Fabricator provides them energy and necessary materials. If it stopped functioning, they could survive for two years, but Sapphire says that's not enough time to accrue the strength to fight Amethyst and his armies. They've been here since they were forced to leave the galaxy, around 600,000 years ago. Rell brings up the fact that Amethyst doesn't have armies right now, but Martle says that will quickly change.

Z is cowering, seeing all the different races. She hears "You do not belong here," in her mind, and yelps. Sapphire asks if something is wrong and Z asks for a drink, so Sapphire takes them to a canteen for water. Z feels like someone is trying to communicate with her, but not succeeding.

Sapphire says the Resistance doesn't think it's time to emerge, especially since they got the signal from the Catalyst's activation. She thinks it's Amethyst and his allies looking for weapons. Martle tells her it was actually her, and Sapphire becomes more hopeful. They tell Sapphire about the state of the Junari army, and the crystal creatures, which Sapphire calls the Abyssal Crystalline. She says it was because of them that the Junari army grew, and Amethyst took advantage of that to expand the empire's borders and enslave other races, killing those who would not submit. Theran looks at Sapphire through his monocle and sees a normal lifespan. She says the scouts the colony sent out over the centuries said Amethyst went missing, but they assumed he had gone into stasis. In terms of assistance, they could muster volunteers to fight and some old ships that survived the rains outside, but that's about it. Theran asks how Amethyst could use the Fabricator, and Sapphire says he would need another device, describing the Allforge. They briefly tell her how they found and lost it, and Z shows her her gun. Sapphire says the runes were created by creatures many people see as demons. They don't have a way to track the Allforge, but Sapphire says it always attracts people of power. She asks if anyone has been creating things that seem ahead of their time. The crew starts naming all the different factions they've fought. Sapphire and Zach decide they should talk to their elders.

Z is hit with a headache she's never felt before. She hears, "You do not belong here. You have too much work to do. Your father wishes you to continue the fight." She sinks to the ground and starts rocking. Martle asks her what's wrong, and she says there's a really loud voice, and asks for a drink. Martle asks Sapphire for alcohol. Sapphire says she'll see about some moonshine after they take Z to the infirmary. Z recovers somewhat at the mention of moonshine. When they get to an infirmary, a dragonborn healer examines Z. They take her to a room with crystals that help calm her, and a bed that can adjust in height. When she and the dragonborn alone, she tells them about the ring and the voices. They diagnose her with hysteria and paranoia. They recommend a day's rest and no alcohol.

In the waiting room, Sapphire says they'll be given a day's rest before talking to the elders, given their traumatic landing on the planet. Rell asks about the crystal creatures that threw exploding rocks, but they are unfamiliar, possibly an invasion of the Abyssal Crystalline. The colony may have to leave, but they don't have a better place to go. Sapphire says the extreme gravity of the planet is actually caused by another device the colony has, and that they rely on it and the planet's natural dangers to protect themselves. Theran says they need to leave or defend themselves better, or Amethyst is going to come with his armies and seize the gravity device and the Fabricator. He suggests moving to the Temple of Onin, and tell Sapphire that's where Amethyst put himself in stasis. The gravity generator and Fabricator can be taken with them, but it'll take awhile to disconnect them from the planet's core. Theran wants to meet with the elders today, but Sapphire says there's too much else going on.

The dragonborn comes to talk to Martle. They ask her about the hysteria, and tell her Z is half Mentaru. They say it might explain the headaches, if she wasn't used to the Mentaru's telepathy. They think the hysteria might be explained by functional alcoholism. They recommend a night's uninterrupted rest, and give Martle their contact info.

Martle goes to visit Z. She tells Z what the dragonborn told her. Z asks for meat and potatoes and orange juice, no pulp.

Sapphire and Zach offer lodging at their home, and take Martle to the market to get Z's food.

Z's door opens. The person who talked in her head earlier comes in and tells her she should not be here. They argue about telepathy, and the mentaru lowers her hood. She tells Z it's not that she doesn't belong here, but she can't be here yet - her father needs her to keep fighting. The mentaru introduces herself as Kalara. Z says she's never even met her dad, so what right does he have to boss her around? Kalara says he was trying to save the galaxy, and Z could probably ask him herself.

New Information

 * Zach has dark hair and seems used to physical labor.
 * The city is filled with all races, not just Junari.
 * The Resistance used to have the Allforge, but there was infighting and they lost it.
 * Z was born feet first.
 * Sapphire is a scout, and found them while checking the population of ants. They can reproduce 1000 every few weeks.
 * All mentaru are telepathic.
 * The colony has no potatoes, but have rigos, a starchy root vegetable.

Memorable Quotes
Matt: Z, you are hit by a headache you've never felt before. Z: Oww! I'm dying!

Juniper: What's wrong with her? Martle: *awkward laugh* Many things.

Dragonborn: I shall return in the hour. Z: Please don't.

Rebecca: Are they this planet's versions of rabbits?! Matt: Oh no. I think Rebecca wants one now. Rebecca: Yeh. Ben: I mean, I kind of wanted one from the beginning. Rebecca: I mean same. Ben: But then they exploded. Rebecca: What, and a simple explosion put you off Ben? Come on, coward. Ben: Oh, no, not the fact that they did explode, but it was more of, "Oh, it exploded I can't have it now." Rebecca: Fair. That's fair, yeah, I take back the coward statement.

Mitch: I had telepathy? I would have been using that shit so long ago! Jason: Wow. Wowww. Matt: Are you kidding me?

Z: Orange, no pulp. Martle: Got it. I'll make sure it's filled with pulp.

Trivia

 * Nat got a double crit on Z's perception check to hear the rifle charging.
 * Mitch never realized/forgot mentaru are telepathic.
 * Matt gave Rebecca inspiration for being spot on regarding the dragonborn considering Martle to be Z's guardian.